


Let's Hurt

by LiliBunny



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Aftercare, Aged-Up Otabek Altin, Aged-Up Yuri Plisetsky, Bad Decisions, Bottom Yuri Plisetsky, Break Up, DJ Otabek Altin, Dom/sub, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hair-pulling, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Light Dom/sub, Long-Haired Yuri Plisetsky, M/M, Make Up, Post Break Up, Protective Otabek Altin, Protective Yuri, Supportive Otabek, Supportive Yuri, Top Otabek Altin, Yuri Plisetsky is a Brat, Yuri Plisetsky past, briefly mentioned, mild childhood trama, protective Otabek, temper otabek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-04
Updated: 2017-10-22
Packaged: 2018-12-11 05:57:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 20,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11708238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LiliBunny/pseuds/LiliBunny
Summary: If this love is pain, then darlin' let's hurt tonightFollowing their breakup Yuri and Otabek reflect on the good and bad times of their relationship. Has their story truly ended or is it just beginning?





	1. Prologue : Attention.

**Author's Note:**

> {Might change summary--so tired. Thanks for checking out this story, I hope you enjoy.}  
> {More tags coming later with each chapter/as needed--trying to keep some "mystery" to what's gonna happen}

Beats bounced turbulence bass off the walls of a popular club in the main part of downtown dark in appearance with lights dancing across the room. In the club, electric waves of music flooded over the roaring crowd grinding and jumping for the DJ gifting them the vibrations of sound.  At the front of the sea of bodies basking in the teasing green light was ex-figure skater Otabek Altin, DJ for the night of this establishment. The bags under his eyes were hidden by the dim light above him just teasing the dark pools of his emotionless eyes looking over the crowd in longing. A nagging pull tugs at his chest making him consistently look over the crowd _searching_ more than once that night in desperate want. After a moment, he would force his gaze away back to the panel beneath his fingers working the knobs and dials working over the crowd. He often at times like this related playing a crowd like this, controlling them with the sound to be like sex.

Yes, sex. Sweat gliding down their bodies as they glided and thrust themselves to anything in their reach. Very much like his own person show watching the crowd unravel at his touch growing wild with the need for the song to drop its base, or torment them further with a never-ending rhythm to climax together as a whole right before his eyes. With each rolling sound pushing and pulling the crowd stirring them up as they have given themselves completely up to the music, to him. Control, that is what he was guilty of in all forms- his own worst addiction. Seeing the bodies give themselves to his music it gave a partial fill of need to the void in his chest, but it wasn’t enough—not when there was _someone_ better that managed to slip past his fingers.

Alas, it never lasted long this tormenting ‘love’ of the crowd. It wasn’t the crowd he wanted, not their submission though that was a weak substitute. No-he wanted the beautiful blonde beauty of a man Yuri Plisetsky back beneath his hands begging in love and lust for him. Sighing the man started up the next song, with heavy hands watching as the crowd cheered for granting them more like wanton sluts.

Listening to the haunting chime of sound play over speakers he stepped back with a heavy exhale grabbing his water bottle nearly crushing it in his grip. Standing there he gulped down the liquid, body drenched in sweat rolling down from his brow to the pelvic dip of his hips where his pants hung low threatening to travel lower. Pain was harsh in his heart as he refused to touch the shot still sitting beside him on his table taunting him to toss it back without inhibitions to drown out the voice of the Russian still playing in his skull on repeat. No, with shaking hands he gulped back more water forcing himself to stay sober, he would not forget his Yura tonight. Otabek wanted to remember this pain in his heart threatening to swallow him whole so he might make another effort to contact the blonde tomorrow.

Choking on a shuttering tearless sob he bit into his lip refusing to break down, he was stronger than his mind was letting him think right now. Passing a glance over the crowd with a broken breath he tried to calm his outward appearance only for the air to catch in his lungs at the sight of the ghost of a man that danced over his eyes endlessly during the past months. He shook his head rubbing his eyes pressing hard into the sockets brushing out the lies that had to be tricking him to look back and see the blonde beauty was indeed there dancing in the center of the crowd blue-green hues locked right on him like a gun aiming to shoot. His jaw dropped open at the sight of the creature dancing lewdly before him showing himself off with his hands teasing up his hair letting the locks roll off his fingertips as he raised his arms with hips swaying.

Behind Yuri there was a man looking suspiciously much like himself hands pressed tightly on his Yura’s hips pulling him against his no doubt hardened cock, please-who wouldn’t when they have the most attractive creature right in their hands. Otabek clenched his teeth letting out a low snarl seeing the Russian merely showcasing his body for seemingly anyone before him-for what? Payback? Spite? It was revolting to feel jealousy creep up the Kazakh’s spine making his muscles shake beneath his arms. Yuri wasn’t truly his anymore, but the memory of every claim he has made upon that body made him seethe rage at seeing someone touch the porcelain skin he had marked up entirely of every inch. Yuri, the sly creature he was knew what he was doing confirmed by the smirk on his features as he made sure every move he made Otabek would watch in torment from his spot above the crowd.

The minx just wanted attention, his attention. It was a horrible tease with the blonde wearing those tight leather pants that he knew very well made Otabek go crazy with want to run his hangs up his thighs and cup his rear tightly in his palms. His hair that shined like the sun down and styled minimally with little braids and half-bun just like the Kazakh always liked to see. Even his shirt he wore, a tight dark purple short sleeve clinging like a second skin much like his pants. It was all deadly.

Seeing hands not his own roam up the blonde, one under his shirt over his stomach the other pressed firm over his pelvis just below his hip a little too close to Yuri’s cock for the Kazakh’s liking. Yuri’s body bent back against the stranger’s chest head fallen back to the man’s shoulder eyes glazed over only watching him as his dance partner grinded upon him. Those damn lips that he wanted to kiss so deeply were parted open just enough that it made Otabek grip the table beside him to hold himself steady from the shake of want that passed over him. His cock already hard pressed against his own pants wanting to tug the blonde out of that fucker’s arms and kiss those memorable lips, nip them as he would when he wanted Yuri to behave from his periodic tantrums, worked every time.

The blonde was breaking him down. Yuri knew it especially as he let the stranger roam their hands in his hair giving it a tug to bring his head back bringing his body closer making the Russian moan with eyes still half open in pleasure looking at his ex-boyfriend as he danced. Otabek knew this man inside and out, there was something wrong in Yuri’s expression he could read into after another moment of studying those eyes glued to his own. There was something there, he could identify beneath the layers of want and lust—it was very faint so he could have read wrong from the lights moving over the crowd, but Yuri looked sad.

This made things difficult in his mind at this notion, hadn’t Yuri moved on? After all he was there dancing in this club having to know Otabek would be there with this other man latched onto his thin frame. That shot still glistening at his side was beginning to look awfully friendly with ice sweat ran along the glance pooling onto the table practically calling for him to drink it. His fingers twitched to reach for the glass, but he resisted with his other hand clenching tight over the other tugging it back.

He remembered even more vividly now, remembering when Yuri was his. Otabek remembered everything about Yuri, his likes, dislikes-anything. He knew everything about Yuri, his precious Yura that hated oranges and cardio. The Yuri that had anxiety at anyone besides him touching his hair. The Yuri that would fall beneath his touch always begging for more or that would tear Otabek down riding his cock suddenly in the dimly lit mornings lazily and slow in slow orgasms. What happened to the Yuri that Otabek knew everything about? This wasn’t him, the smirk-yes, but it wasn’t real Otabek could see it now as he took in each movement displayed before him carefully. There was hesitance in every movement Yuri made, that wasn’t right. Yuri was a lot of things: blunt, spontaneous, aggressive, demanding--tender, strong, caring, guarded, but reserved in actions was never something Yuri was often known for.

His vision was spotting from the emotions threatening to crack open right there on that stage before the worshiping crowd. Nerves were gulped past his throat, swallowed with his pride as he returned a glance to the love of his life dancing before him with someone else.

What happened between them-Truly? They were so happy, they loved each other. Why did things end up this way with Otabek’s eyes practically begging Yuri to stop this game he was playing with his heart. After all-Yuri is the one who broke his first.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for checking out this story.  
> Comments and Kudos are appreciated.
> 
> This chapter among other's are inspired by songs of Otabek and Yuri's "life song" together. This chapter specifically was inspired by "Attention" by Charlie Puth


	2. Be Good

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading guys. :) I am glad I got around to doing this chapter <3

Nearly eight months ago-roughly, in a bedroom smelling of sweat and sex, moans sounded lewdly from a long haired blonde riding hard over the male’s cock beneath him with great intensity. A hand buried deep in Yuri’s long grown locks caressing his scalp. With a growl, Otabek flipped Yuri over changing their position tugging the male’s hips up into his hold followed by pushing a flexible leg back to the blonde’s ear as he gave powerfully slow snaps of his hips thrusting deep down inside the heated tunnel. Blue-Green hues were lost as Yuri’s pupils expanded in pleasure while he was relentlessly tormented with a slow and earth shattering pace. His legs tremored in spasms as his orgasm began to crawl up his very bones threatening to overtake him.. “F-FUCK!” The Russian arched his back with his hair fanned out over wrinkled leopard sheets, his sweat covered chest arched and nipples peaked. Pleasure-filled tears pricked the corners of Yuri’s eyes as he felt the taunt coil inside him aggressively tease to snap in two. The tension inside him suddenly went slack making him scream in frustration when those demanding thrusts halted inside him making the heat of his needed climax escape his grasp. “Otabek” He growled out attempting to sound malicious only to have the sound come out as a desperate needy whine, his hips rolling for any sort of friction to have his boyfriend of now six years finish him off for his third and most needed orgasm that night.

Yuri’s eyes pleaded with Otabek; his best friend, his boyfriend, his lover, at times his dominant, always his everything. His hands reached for the male’s hair giving it a harsh tug as panting the word ‘please’ numerous times over his lips like it would be his last breath. Otabek merely smiled softly down at him running a hand though his sweaty hair pressing a kiss to his forehead as lowering the blonde’s leg down to wrap the pair of them around his waist. “Yura” God, just hearing the Kazakh say his name so softly and full of love as petting through his long hair made Yuri give an audible pleasing sigh. Then the rhythm started up again making Yuri moan out immediately clenching tight to the male with all his gangly limbs. No falter nor break in the steady thrusts of Otabek’s cock driving deep within him, Yuri screamed as his climax knocked the air right out of his lungs. His walls tightened around the Kazakh’s cock clenching tight milking out the male’s own release that came seconds after. Yuri’s mouth still parted wide as he shakily breathed, soft sounds escaping with tears flowing now freely in small streaks down his cheeks. 

“My beautiful Yura” Otabek’s voice praised sounding through the aftershocks of climax in Yuri’s ear trailing kissed down the blonde’s pale ear to his neck. The Kazakh’s hips slowly pumping the remains of release while caressing lovingly over Yuri’s skin. Joining their lips together in a slow afterglow of a kiss, Otabek pulled out of his boyfriend only to flip them over letting Yuri rest upon him as their tongues lazily tangling with one another’s. Their perfect moment of joined silence was interrupted by the shrill ringing of Otabek’s cellphone vibrating in time with the horrid preset of a ringtone. Growling against Otabek’s lips, Yuri then pushed his boyfriend’s phone off the table and to the floor with his foot in a single stretching swipe of his leg. Feeling satisfied with himself he leaned closer to rest his head on Otabek’s chest listening to the man’s heartbeat as sleep threatened to take over. “Yura...” A voice warned only to then give a gentle rumble of laughter in the Kazakh’s chest sounding lightly with the male’s hand brushing through Yuri’s tangled hair. “You satisfied, showed that phone whose boss?”

“Yes.” Yuri said bluntly as snuggling more inhaling the man’s natural scent only to sigh with a pout on his face. “I wish you’d let me go with you, it’s not like I can’t be back and get a few hours’ sleep before practice tomorrow…”

“No, you need to stay home. You know how cranky you get normally, I won’t be responsible for letting a tired and cranky tiger attack everyone because he wanted to go to a club on a weekday.” The soft pets in his hair made the blonde’s eyes start to close even with listening to the refusal from the other. “Besides, you look rather tired now anyway. It’s best you stay home. I’ll be back around 3 or 4, the usual.”

Yuri huffed tiredly, “You have practice too, you shouldn’t keep going out so late..its not…its not good for you” He yawned then fighting the sleep trying to come over him. “Its your hobby Otabek, not your career...”

Otabek’s fingers halted in hesitation in Yuri’s hair only to then continue swiftly petting through the silky strands. “I do, but they had a cancellation they need me tonight. I promise I’ll be home as soon as I can.” Not hearing an answer to that Otabek glanced at the man on his chest who had fallen completely asleep. Smiling he pressed a kiss to the blonde’s head petting his hair for another ten minutes in pure happiness before shifting to tuck Yuri in bed shifting out of it himself.

Padding his feet across the carpeted floor to the bathroom the Kazakh decided to forgo the shower and just get dressed. After dressing himself in tight pants and shirt paired off with his leather vest to show off his arms, he returned to the bed with a glass of water in one hand and cloth in the other. Setting the glass of water on the night stand he reached down retrieving his discarded phone from the floor shaking his head in admiration at Yuri’s reaction. Otabek then kneeled a leg on the bed to then spend a moment cleaning up his boyfriend who shifted cutely against the pillow. His eyes glistened over in utter love as he set the cloth to side pressing a kiss to Yuri’s lips, “Good Night” he whispered as then exiting their bedroom leading himself out with his leopard and leather decorated bag, curtesy of Yuri, stuffed with his cds, flash drives and laptop that he needed for the night. Locking the door to their apartment, he made sure to pass a glance back to the door marked with their number in a rusted decoration only to smile as continuing to walk out to the garage for his motorcycle feeling inspired to start the night.

A few nights passed like this where Otabek would leave late at night, which under normal circumstances wasn’t an issue. However, it became more constant as the weeks went on making the blonde question what exactly the Kazakh was doing. Of course, he was told that Otabek was just at the club, but the man didn’t come home til the near rising hours of the sun and was even beginning to miss his practice times. It was all ringing alarm bells in the Russian’s head on top of the rising concern that the man had though not lessened their sex life, but their extended kisses became less frequent.

Here they were again, another night with the blonde’s legs over his shoulders beneath Otabek’s strong body pressed flesh to flesh above him. Leaning forward, Otabek gave a slight smile above the mess of a blonde beneath him letting his lips tease over the other’s ear in small licks of his tongue over the lobe before lowering himself once more to the blonde’s hole blowing a puff of hot breath over the wet and quivering flesh. Slowly his mouth attached itself over the already moistened clench of muscle lapping with lewd sounds and aggressive tongue teasing Yuri’s entrance to tear him apart all over again hands braced on the thigh of pale long legs. After a long discussion with himself, he felt they needed a break from their variety of their usual extensive bedroom activities. All night he had been slowly delaying his love from reaching any sort of relief, he needed his very stamina filled tiger to be thoroughly relaxed and spent since Yuri’s body was used to more than simple lovemaking. Not that Otabek was complaining, taking time with this relationship together they worked through the bits of their likes and dislikes making the sex between them perfectly mind-blowing. However, with himself recently getting more gigs and Yuri spending more time at the rink taking the time for their play had been often put on hold to be-quite bluntly boring in Otabek’s mind. Anything with his beautiful boyfriend is perfect in his eyes, but there is something about dominating Yuri that he finds so utterly satisfying. Even if this-slow,standard- sex became the normal between them for the rest of their lives, he would never voice displeasure on this as Yuri was his own weakness. No matter what became of the lusting dark thoughts that stirred to take charge this would end easy. Taking the time to giving Yuri a nice bath and about a half hour of cuddling to where he would have to bid the beautiful sight before him goodbye for the evening with a kiss for him to leave for work. Otabek was feeling guilty for not having the time he used to for his Yura to take all the time he wanted with him breaking him down bit by bit into the delirious and panting mess they both knew he could become when persuaded. After all, a tiger is ferocious, but when tamed were merely a mewling kitten beneath his touch.

Yes, Otabek felt so oh guilty as he had spent more and more nights away from their home at the club if not there he was in his office trying to come up with new mixes or tracks of his own. This guilt ate away at him in more ways than one, he was afraid to voice to Yuri out in the open the truth that he had quitted skating. The male wouldn’t know until his coach would make a statement at the next press meeting, but it was over. He wanted to pursue his music now that he was getting more well known in that area of art he was making a good deal of money. Though, with even more hard work, he would be even greater to produce great quality everywhere. Cowardly was the next he felt for he had been too afraid to mention any of this to the beautiful mess of a blonde beneath him not only for the sudden career change, but something selfish- he wanted to propose. Otabek wanted a real life for the two of them, and though he made a good deal of money skating they had a hard time with living life truly together said for their sparse of evenings. He wanted the domesticity of marriage with Yuri and everything that came with it. From the small arguments over drapes and carpet to the sweet caresses in the early morning of a home that was their very own out of this apartment. Be it a house or a lavish penthouse, he wanted something for the two of them better than this, and he wanted to provide it. Being the man he was, Otabek thought it was better to keep these worries to himself, at least for now until he felt the blonde was ready to know.

The Kazakh was lost in his thoughts so deeply that it wasn’t until many minutes later that he heard Yuri sobbing, begging for his release with hands tugging hard in his hair that Otabek’s vision returned focusing on the blonde. Otabek studied over his love with determined eyes, making sure to take in his breathing-his overall wellbeing in the moment. The Kazakh knew the blondes limits just like his own knowing exactly what it took for the male to break. Though this moment was hardly like their usual couplings of safe words and control, the sobbing toss of sweat and blonde hair cheeks red-faced pressed with teeth clenching their sheets was damn near close.

Pressing soft kisses against Yuri’s thighs with whispering praises he could hear the blonde’s jumbled gibberish of pleas making the man decide to give in feeling he made him wait long enough for this night. He began to reach of the blonde’s cock to finally touch him for the first time there that night only for his hand to be grabbed harshly at the wrist. Looking up into the pools of sea-green he could see the haze of lust in Yuri’s eyes. “No…you…Beka..pl..ease..” Otabek looked at the clock behind the blonde’s head, if he was to keep on schedule he needed to hurry this up and get the blonde to bed. He pressed another hot kiss on Yuri’s protruding hip bone.

“Not tonight Yura, I have to go to work soon.” Yuri groaned in annoyance his head falling back to the bed in a whine just wanting to get fucked hard. He was tired of this hump and dump bullshit, no-he would find out exactly what the hell was going on. Using the remaining strength in his legs he flipped them his legs straddling over Otabek’s shoulders next to his head where the man’s hands held tight to his thighs. “Yura-“

“No” Yuri said sternly with flushed cheeks and shaking body. “You aren’t leaving, not tonight.” He growled again hands braced over the headboard. Too many nights had he been made love to softly as of late, not that in all that was a bad thing though he had been edged for over at least an hour and a half now and that shit was the final straw if Otabek planned to get him off with just a hand job to end the night. No. This bullshit was ending now and he was going to get what he wanted.

Otabek sighed running his hands up the blonde’s legs feeling the pleasurable shutter pass beneath his fingers. “Yura, _be good_. Come on. You know I have to go.” As a hand unfaltering took his own it where it was then brought up and pressed to the blonde’s throat.

“Make me” Yuri said with panting gasps tightening his hold over Otabek’s hand making it press harder on his windpipe. “Make me.” He repeated eyes strong and unchanging, locked on his lover’s own brown hues.  Otabek shook his head closing his eyes inhaling sharply, a sign he was trying to calm himself- to calm the waves of power threatening to take over. Yuri wasn’t having it, with full force he slapped a hand over Otabek’s cheek with a shiver making the Kazakh’s eyes open wide with mouth in shock. Seeing the brown orbs be filled with black as they narrowed he felt a shiver run up his spine at the look of disappointment and aggression in Otabek’s expression beneath him. “Fuck” He moaned out without control at seeing such a look. Without a second to react he was manhandled to be flipped to his stomach over Otabek’s legs who sat up perfectly straight in posture. “Bek-AH!” He arched his spine in a bow legs spread lewdly with ass poised in the air from the harsh tug upon his long locks of hair gaining his completely attention.

“ _Yuri_.” A strong grunt of voice escaped from the man, he could feel his boyfriend’s fingers curl even more in his long tresses of hair twisting to grab a tighter hold of the strands. Another harsh tug made the blonde’s eyes roll back with his body bent to the man’s willing power of control. “You struck me.” A chuckle passed in a teasing growl making Yuri internally cheer in victory as seemingly things were going in his favor for the man to stay with him tonight.

“I did.” He admitted in truth licking over his lips attempting to look over his shoulder only for another tug to force his view back forward away from Otabek.

His hair was pulled bringing his body up more for Otabek’s lips to tease over his ear. “Are you sorry? You’re making me very late for work with this behavior”

“No” He breathed out. “I don’t want you to go.” Yuri spoke honestly as his mind held no other choice when hearing the commanding tone of that voice, Otabek’s dominant and powerful tone.

The Kazakh hummed as if in thought to then release Yuri’s hair making his body fall forward against the mattress, his ass raised high in the air presenting to the male whom caressed over the globes of skin. Strong hands massaging over the muscle pressing into the flesh as Otabek then chuckled once more before then asking in all seriousness with a warm chest pressed to Yuri’s back. Whispers spoken in his ear Yuri felt the victory seep over him again. “Do you remember your word Yura?”

“Yes.” He breathed softly in a whine just wanting no- needing this so desperately. Hours being tormented and weeks gave him this primal need for their play, to be dominated.

A low chuckle passed over the silence between panting breaths with Otabek giving his right ass-cheek a powerful squeeze. “Say it.”

“Ugh you know what it is!” He growled out only to feel the pressure in the other’s hand tighten making him give a moan.

“Say it Yuri or I will leave you here to deal with this on your own while I go to work for the night. Say it…” Otabek released his grip to rub over the skin soothing the very small ache in Yuri’s muscle. “…and I’ll stay home tonight. Only, if you be good and tell me your word.” He said this so softly, so gentle it made the blonde’s heart race with butterflies. No matter what, Otabek was still his sweet and loving boyfriend. This gave him such a relief to feel and hear this in the man, even this small bit soothed to an even smaller extent of the worry in Yuri’s chest at the Kazakh’s late-night habits of late.

“Oranges” The blonde said sternly with a blushing tint over his cheeks.

“Again” Otabek said with a hand rubbing closer and closer to the blonde’s quivering hole, the other caressing over the blonde's scalp petting him encouragingly. 

Yuri huffed a breath flipping his hair with a toss of his head before resting it back down in the sheets. “Fuck come on! Oranges!” A powerful smack rang out over the room with Otabek’s hand meeting Yuri’s ass in a forceful spank making Yuri choke out a sound.

Another sounded off with the meeting of their skin’s contact with Yuri moaning loud against the sheets. Fuck, yes he needed this. “You were supposed to be good Kitten. You’re being selfish keeping me all to yourself.” Another smack. “That was very bad of you to smack me wasn’t it Yura?” Another smack of the man’s hand hit over the same spot of Yuri’s rear making the blonde shiver with a sounding moan. “Very wrong way to get what you want, but you always get what you want don’t you Tiger?” Two more smacks played off the walls of the room this time on the untouched cheek of Yuri’s ass. “You’re getting it right now though aren’t you? What do you want Yura?” Otabek hummed out fingers teasing over the dip between the cheeks teasing over his hole before pulling back to smack back over the blonde’s ass making the flesh bounce from the force, pale skin red imprinting the Kazakh’s hand.

Yuri was near sobbing at the minimal of punishment, he was leaking painfully from his member as he tried to hold it together with wobbling legs. His face flushed pressed hard into the sheets as he body shook tremors with each slap of his dominant’s hand.

“What do you want Yura? Why don’t you tell me?” Another hard smack of the other’s hand swung over Yuri’s cheeks with a greater force of swing. “Tell me what was so important you had to keep me from work tonight.” Otabek gave another powerful smack increasing the strength in a hit over both mounds.

“FUCK! You know what I want-AH!” A smack sounded once more in the air, red completely staining and stinging over the blonde’s once pale backside.

“Is today one of those nights?” Otabek voiced softly, looking over his shoulder the Russian could see the man’s eyes were full of love, but intense seriousness. “Tell me Yura, what do you want.”

Bending down further onto his hands and knees Yuri let his hips raise his ass higher in the air presenting himself submissively to the other blushing with a growl, cock bouncing as he rolled his hips. “I want you to fuck me.”

A hand rubbed over the blondes stinging skin, pads of the Kazakh’s fingers pressing into the male’s flesh. “You going to be good for me Yura? Do what you must to earn it?”

“Earn it?! Otabek you-AH FUCK!-Fucker…” He moaned in choked sounds as the man smacked harder once more over both cheeks with speed.

“Well?”

“Yes, I will.” He frowned reaching to touch his cock painfully hanging between his legs for his hand to be pressed down at the wrist by Otabek’s own.

“Yes what?” The male teased a kiss over Yuri’s sweaty back over his shoulder blades.

“I’ll be good. Yes, I’ll be good for you.” He whined as his hips tried to thrust on their own accord with a needy movement against air.

“Stop that.” The blonde completely halted at the other’s words with a sounding whine. “On your knees Yura.” Scrambling the blonde collapsed off the bed to bring himself to his knees with carpet digging its burn into his skin immediately. “Look at me.” Otabek commanded in which Yuri then obediently followed with his gaze snapping up eyes locking on the other’s own. A hand caressed over the other's hair pushing back strands of hair for the Kazakh to see his boyfriend’s eyes, one of his most favorite features. After a once over of those brown eyes looking over any signs for them to stop, or take a break he then caressed over Yuri’s chin smiling to then grab the blonde’s mouth in his hands pressing tightly over his jaw forcing him to open his mouth. “Open wide.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading <3  
> Comments and Kudos are appreciated. :)  
> More to come soon so subscribe if wanted ~ <3  
> Song for this chapter: "High" by SIVIK


	3. Which is it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for those keeping up with this story <3

Every couple had their ups and downs, there was no perfect relationship. You could either admit there were smokes and mirrors or that you were an idiot who was too blind to see the dominos lining up to fall, Yuri wasn’t dumb. The blonde had noticed that certain habits, routines, between himself and his boyfriend were beginning to suddenly change. At first, it was coincidence; merely the clash of schedules and rearranging lives when they first moved in together officially, that was to be expected. However, that was years ago and now the Russian was starting to take notice of little…quirks Otabek had been displaying changing the Kazakh’s otherwise standardly and quite boring routine.

First it was that their practices no longer overlapped, the male when questioned about this simply told the other he changed some things in his schedule around so he could have more ‘at home’ time with Yuri. Quite lovely to believe for a while except further down the road the man had started spending more evenings at the club, late hours into early morning he wouldn’t see his boyfriend. He would always enter the house quietly should Yuri be awake to hear him, and would make himself practically mute said for the water running when he took his shower. Only next to crawl into bed tucking his arms around Yuri’s middle cuddling the warm, inhaling his scent until the male fell asleep like a log.

Then, even that changed. Never had their sex-lives become dull; never could it be. They loved each other, tried new things to find out even more knew things about each other should it be possible. After giving what they called an open agreement in the bedroom they began to explore, learn each other nearly all over again. In other words, they kept open to new things should one of them even remotely feel uncomfortable or dislike something they would stop or change directions. It was an easy flow which then lead them to falling into their dom and sub play. Something usually done more when Yuri was stressed, which happened quite often after this discovery, leading Otabek to take complete control of him. Not that the Kazakh was complaining, though at first there was reluctance needing them to establish boundaries, hard limits and safeties for he was more scared of himself hurting the blonde than anything Yuri could ask of him. Then, it took off giving way and opening a new window into themselves where with the sound of Otabek’s voice falling a tad deeper and slipping into authority was all it took for Yuri’s aggressive attitude to bend and submit for his boyfriend, after all this was them-and they were safe with each other.

When this-play began to slowly slip away Yuri’s frustration grew he noticed when Otabek started pulling back from it for slow lovemaking tearing him down slowly just the same and equally pleasurable, just with something missing. Even when he would complain, the other still knew his body so intimately that he could work control without ever needing to fall into that dominate headspace.

The only thing about that part of Otabek’s personality that had fallen into its dormant place inside the man that was a surprise was it was exhilarating, sometimes frightening even when sex wasn’t involved, which Yuri didn’t think was possible. The Russian of course didn’t consider that if Otabek were to make a ‘command’ about anything to him he would listen for any other reason than that he wanted to. Course, when he was having a particularly bad day, the man most times would take care of him turning on a bath and after would spend nearly an hour brushing Yuri’s hair running his hands through the long silky tresses. Otabek would spoil him rotten, cook him dinner and pamper him which in turn Yuri had done the same. Though, on other days like more recently-Yuri being angry again was becoming ever the norm which lead to the Kazakh on occasion having to scold him past a simple few words. The first time Otabek called him a brat outside their bedroom made Yuri’s legs buckle as he halted in his step, his body reacting instantly to the low tone the male’s voice fell into when he was being particularly serious.

This…caused arguments, as it added fire to the stirring emotions whirling in the blonde’s body. It started when he asked Otabek where he had been last night, expecting the usual answer of ‘At the club Yura, you know that’ followed by the soft smile and a pat on his head. That wasn’t enough, that day it wasn’t enough when Otabek kept taking away things that were his! Didn’t he notice he hardly kissed him anymore? Were they past the stage? He used to have to pry the Kazakh off him with a laugh so he could focus on washing the dishes splashing water between them. Now, he washed the dishes in half the time with his fingers pruned from their lingering submerge in the water.

He hated to admit his childish attitude, but he tried to check Otabek’s phone when he was in the shower. It wasn’t Yuri’s proudest moment, but the bastard had changed his passcode which sprung an add on of alarms ringing bells in Yuri’s head. Shaking his thoughts numerous times over these horrible thoughts he couldn’t willingly let himself believe that Otabek was cheating on him. Hell, they have been friends for ten years, boyfriends for at least eight and a half of them; a topic they often debated about lovingly on when they officially got together. Known this man over a decade body and soul, there was no real reason in his heart on why Otabek would leave him, they loved each other.

_He would never leave him…_

Not like his Father, his Mother…his Grandpa though that was of no fault of his own. No, Otabek spent a whole week after his Grandfather’s death reassuring him he would be there for him always, no matter what. That they would talk things out…he promised.

They’ve seen each other at their weakest…something that Yuri had thought about more often with Otabek’s recent lack of attention. He remembered both events _vividly_ , both battles they overcame together and vowed to be each other’s grounding point when their worlds started spinning. First was needed support for Yuri when they were still friends, but for Otabek it wasn't until they had already been together some time. Where as Yuri's pain was his mother, Otabek's was his father. He was a man his boyfriend held great respect for only to have it crushed when he returned home to Almaty to visit for a few weeks. To this day Yuri had no clue what exactly happened, all he knew was it wasn’t good when his boyfriend came home early suddenly crashing into the apartment smelling of cheap alcohol tripping over their furniture. Luggage tossed across the floor with Otabek struggling to stand muttering to himself in Kazakh with tears threatening to fall down his face in the dark room lit only by the night sky from their open window looking over St. Petersburg.

When he heard the entry, Yuri panicked only to rush over without a care for grace at the state of his boyfriend falling to his knees holding the man’s face in his palms rubbing thumbs over the man’s cheeks trying to calm him. The stench of alcohol reeking from his love was enough to send him into panic, Otabek didn’t drink hardly; claimed he was good enough after a few shots or a glass or two mixed. Though, this drunken state smelling of vodka and whiskey was concerning. The man stood up from his place on the ground only to start screaming, yelling no doubt curses and spiteful hate from his tongue in Kazakh. The blonde tried to reach out to do anything; hold him, talk, something that would calm his boyfriend down. With Otabek yelling as he was the Russian flinched as fists were swung at their cabinets, knocking over miscellaneous things that were in reach. Each time Yuri tried to touch him the man didn’t pay him any notice as he swung his arms around with the male nearly getting K.O. by the force of the swing. It wasn’t until he finally got his hands on Otabek’s shoulder which resulted in him being forcefully swung around and pinned with strength against the sink. Hands holding tight to the blonde’s arms leaving no question there would be bruises as the other shook him spouting more words spitting them with snarls from his mouth, eyes blinded.

This terrified him, this Otabek before him; he was nothing like the shy, cool and caring boyfriend he had grown to love. This Otabek, wasn’t real. He was scared, but he loved this man so much more than the fear sinking it from the grip tight on his arms. “B.Beka” He said with a slight waver to his voice falling on deaf ears. Stomping his foot Yuri shouted back, his eyes narrowing in on the other’s brown hues scolding almost as he then said sternly in a yell, “Beka!”

The shaking stopped, pupils dilated with eyes going wide in delayed reaction. “It’s okay…” He whispered softly, “It’s okay, come back to me Beka, _Mr. Hero_.” His smile wavered, twitching with worry though it seemed to get the message to Otabek’s brain to stop. The grip on his arms was released, hands pulling away as if they touched fire with the male backing up in alarm to fall to the ground in shock staring at his hands.

Carefully lowering himself to crouch down, Yuri tried lifting the man to his feet only to be tugged back down desperately into the other’s chest who clung to him so tightly murmuring more words he couldn’t understand into his hair.

“ _Yura…_ ” A broken sob of his name was all he heard before kisses were pressed to his neck begging forgiveness with whispers so low against his skin.

After an hour holding the Kazakh to his chest petting over his sweaty hair, Yuri managed to drag the man to the bathroom with another half hour of battle with Otabek slurring words in his native tongue. His boyfriend remained silent as Yuri bathed him washing the night away from him, taking care to wash over the man’s hair fingers caressing lovingly in reassurance.

It wasn’t til after Yuri assisted in getting the dressed settling them both in bed when he heard the drunken slur of Russian pass over his lover’s lips.

“ _My soldier_ ” Otabek whispered as he massaged a hand over Yuri’s side listening to the blonde’s heartbeat with fingers in his hair petting over his head comforting him like a child til he passed out.

When morning came and the Kazakh opened his eyes he sat up in alarm looking around the room with no recollection of how he got home, only how he arrived back in the country. Head pound and stomach queasy he slowly let his breathing catch up with him with Otabek’s memory passed in fleeting images over his eyes. One in particular made him look to the blonde at his side in fear to then see the purple bruises marring Yuri’s arms shaped like finger prints.

Yuri, who was already awake watched as Otabek cautiously reached to touch him. Fingers barely brushed his skin before he tore his hand back cursing to press his head in his hands rubbing his palms in his eyes.

Sitting up slowly, he crawled into the male’s lap straddling him letting his fingers curl to pry off Otabek’s hands from his face. After one try of reluctance, he was granted the man’s face with their joined hands intertwined at each side of him. Looking into the other’s eyes with sadness he boldly pressed a soft and gentle kiss full of love to Otabek’s lips. The pair of them deepened the kiss in a slow assembly of tongues, in time Yuri guided Otabek’s hands around his waist encouragingly with his own resting at the nap of the man’s neck fingers brushing his undercut.

Shuttering a breath Yuri pulled back, his forehead against the other’s own. “I won’t ask what happened, you tell me when you’re ready.”

Otabek nodded slowly his hands tightening around the blonde’s waist “I just wanted to forget…I’m sorry. I’m so sorry..” He then buried his face in Yuri’s neck, teardrops wetting the Russian’s shirt.

“I love you, but promise me…Promise me Otabek you won’t do that again. Don’t drink like that again when you’re upset. Promise me, please.” Yuri begged, fingers threading up in the other’s hair in a stroke.

“ _I promise_ Yura, I promise. Never. If I do, you can leave me-“

“Don’t be stupid,” Yuri choked out, a small laugh trying to lighten the mood though it was weak. “I’m not leaving you, and you’re not leaving me.” He hugged his body closer stretching his legs, locking them around the male’s waist burying his own face in the male’s shoulder. “I love you Beka, so much. I’m not letting go.”

That day, Yuri supported his best friend and boyfriend through one of his most trying moments as Otabek did for him many years earlier when he was sixteen it was then that he shared with his friend his own foulest remembrance. Most of Yuri's insecurities were the doing of his Mother, memories that Otabek took great time in soothing and healing him from, especially the worst one.

Years ago in his youth, Yuri received constant criticism from his mother at all ends, comparing him to his father always whom he never met. There was no appreciation from her of his assisting in their low-income status with his junior winnings. Why should it seeing as she didn’t work and his Grandfather spent his days in the factory for long hours further injuring his back. The more his hair grew from his age, more snide comments passed from her on how he was going to grow up to be nothing, but a fag. Yuri though knowing the meaning of the word tried not to pay her any mind as he continued following his passion of figure skating, supporting her all the same because she was his mother. It was when he got off the bus stop arriving home from another day of Yakov’s Summer Camp when he saw her tapping her foot waiting for him in their kitchen face scowling beneath her dark brown hair. “Look at you, pathetic- what would your father say?” She spat at him as he dropped his bag off on the table.

Rolling his eyes, he tried to walk past her. “Who cares he left us.” The young blonde spat out only to be grabbed harshly by his arm spun around fast by her force to be shoved down into one of the old wooden chairs at the dining table. She suddenly strapped him around his small body with his forgotten Father’s belt down to the that chair followed by putting a bowl on the top of his head. Shaking he yelled at her trying to wiggle his way free, she smacked the back of his head telling him not to move as she grabbed a chunk of his hair. He kicked and tried to tug away, but with the first clip it made him freeze seeing the hairs float down away from his head. She huffed and muttered about how disrespectful he was while cut off his hair, saying it was for his own good that he doesn’t look like a girl. Lengths grown with care and time slipping past his shoulders to the tiled floor each sharp sound of the scissors making him cringe, tears falling down his face as he watched his pride cut away from him pooling at his feet. His mother cruelly forced him to bow his head with a push of her red painted nails digging into his scalp to continue, but the force now was hardly necessary. After all, what point was there to fighting anymore and tears were useless to stop anything now.

The sound of their front door made him jump, seemingly enough for her to push his shoulder down back to the spine of the chair. His Dedushka entered slowly in step because of his back, only to move with speed Yuri didn’t think he was capable of to shove his daughter away from his grandson. Yelling ensued which the blonde blankly stared forward at his hair on the floor as words deafly muffled in his ears. It wasn’t until his grandfather removed the belt from around him, taking the bowl off his head that Yuri felt the tears flow freely now from his eyes rolling down his cheeks. His grandfather tugged him close petting his now bowl-styled haircut, the edges a tad uneven from his mother’s rough hands. “Don’t listen to her Yuratchka, this-“ He ran his hand , wrinkled and worn from age and hard labor over the remains of Yuri’s hair. “-is temporary, it will grow back. Don’t fret Yuri, it’ll come back. You are Yuri Plisetsky, _not your father_. You may have his hair, but you have my eyes-my spirit. I will not let her try to turn you into him, okay? You are your own person, remember that Yuratchka. _Always be yourself boy. Never let anyone change you except for the better, on your own terms. Got it?_.”

The memory was a painful one Yuri had often reoccurring in the front of his mind. It took all he had in him to confess this story to Otabek, though they were best friends-this story was something that took great courage to share. When they first made love, Yuri fought back from crying tears of happiness at the question from Otabek to touch his hair. It was something so stupid and quite dumb to ask in his opinion, but that didn’t stop the warmth filling his chest at the gentle caress of the male’s hands tangled in his long blonde locks.

The first time Otabek accidentally pulled his hair during sex it made Yuri moan in pleasure, which ended up scaring the Kazakh that he hurt the blonde pushing too far knowing his hair was a more sensitive topic. Yuri merely shook his head his gasping a breath begging for the male to do it again, giving himself further to Otabek in complete trust that night, as he did for their very first time and every moment since.

Memories like these gave fear to Yuri on if all of that would just disappear between them as if they were nothing. Though, he supposed it was already starting...

It was becoming all so repetitive, like clockwork so consistently that Yuri had to make sure of the day every time. He tried talking to Otabek, telling him he didn’t like him going out every night. Yuri even tried convincing him to take him with him for a night of fun, but every time there was excuses. Most of them on Yuri himself saying that the blonde had early morning practice.

Months went by and the Russian thought he was going crazy thinking all these horrible things about the man he loved. The thoughts, they never stopped always tempting to tip the blonde over the barrier of their mutual trust.

He just wanted his worries to stop, just have his mind blank of it all to enjoy a night like tonight when he was ‘graced’ with his boyfriend’s presence who was thrusting deep inside him bringing him on the brink of climax. Unfortunately, they continued tearing his attention away-detaching himself from Otabek’s gaze to be stuck in a whirlwind battle of compromise on a path to take. When his orgasm hit, the blank euphoria didn’t last nearly as long as he would have liked before his soul got knocked back into his body where his love was pressing kisses tenderly along his collar as his hips rode waves of post-orgasm bliss.

The thrusts then slowed, the feeling of his high rolling over in calming waves in beneath Otabek in his arms.

“Yuri..” Shutting his eyes tight he reopened them trying to focus in on the voice of the Kazakh speaking to him. Looking up into the brown hues upon him gave an unsettling feeling in Yuri’s stomach. Something in his boyfriend’s gaze terrified the blonde of being put under the intense stare making him squirm a tad like he was under a microscope. Then, after a deep breath the Kazakh spoke up again speaking slowly. “I need to tell you something.”

Yuri’s heart skipped a beat almost stopping entirely. Was this it? Was he going to tell him he was leaving him? “Oh?” He inhaled sharply exhaling with a sigh trying to keep calm, normal as the other could read him so easily.

“Yeah..” The male pulled out of him leaving Yuri feel empty right down to the deepest parts seeping with dread. Then Otabek spoke. “I _quit_ competitive figure skating.”

What. “What? Want to run that by me again? I must still be in post-coital did you say you quit skating?” Yuri started to sit up only to feel a sharp pain run up his spine making him fall back down to the sheets. His boyfriend’s hand stroked over his tired face sweeping back his hair lovingly, eyes sad as they looked upon him.

“I wanted to tell you, there just wasn’t… a good time.” Otabek continued to pet over the blonde’s hair slowly for it to be aggressively slapped away.

“So, you tell me now after you fuck the strength out of me?! You fucking asshole!” The blonde went silent taking a breath trying to calm himself down to speak properly, like the adult he was. “How long?” There was dead silence between them. “How long Beka...?” His hands were shaking in their grip of the sheets, a true sign to Otabek that his love was trying very hard to hold back his anger. “tell me the truth.”

“Almost six months now..”

“ _Six Months_ …” Yuri hissed out through his teeth before growling angrily, were his suspicions true? Was Otabek cheating on him? Was he not happy with him? What the fuck has he been doing for six months that had taken his attention off skating, the career they both loved?  What had pulled his boyfriend away from him leaving him night after night? What or who was the man doing? The Russian tried to think calmly, but he was losing the battle to himself in his anger. Yuri knew his boyfriend wasn’t the type-couldn’t be, but maybe he was? How would he know with him sneaking off in the middle of the night.

They should talk about this, it’s in the open now they need to talk this out. He shouldn’t jump to conclusions as Yuri was better than that, but the weaves of lies and suspicion were curling their vines around him suffocating the blonde. Otabek was different, something had to be going on as absence of kisses and less frequent sex on top of every other strange behavior was like tallies of strikes on the losing team.

Snarling at his judgements that were tempting whispers seeping deep like poison to the good and rational explanations, Yuri knew deep down he was jumping to conclusions, but he wouldn’t listen. Yuri couldn’t help himself, he was weakened and tired; far too angry to make any sense of the ideas bouncing off every surface in his skull. Too many nights he wondered where he went wrong, what he did. No, it was this asshole that was to blame, the man was a filthy liar! Using what little strength he had left, Yuri swung his foot to kick at Otabek’s chest pushing him back away from him. “You fuck!” The action caused Yuri to fall off the bed falling hard to the floor where Otabek immediate rushed to his side to help panic and worry over his features, but the blonde couldn’t stop. “Get away from me!” He shoved him back with his hands letting out a sound of pain from the forced use of his abused muscles. “So what have you been doing with all this free time?! How long have you been-Who is it?! Who have you been fucking? So what- you…you..” tears were pooling aggressively in the corners of his eyes as his rational part of his brain were begging the blonde to stop talking.

“Yura..” Otabek reached for him again trying to comfort him, tell him everything was okay. He wanted to tell him everything, explain that he loved him so much he wanted to marry him. To tell Yuri all that he wanted for him and that is why he has been working so hard, so late to get himself somewhere they can both be proud of.

Yuri pushed him away again to then slap the male across the face making a force clench around the Kazakh’s heart along with a rolling warning of thunder in his chest, dominance threatening to sneak out but now wasn’t the time the very thought alone made Otabek disgusted with himself as he clenched his teeth. “Don’t you ‘Yura’ me!” The blonde was pushing him away, falling right through his fingers and there was nothing he could do to stop it. Panic crept inside him at look Yuri was giving him, he never looked at him like that ever with that look of pure rage and disgust.

The sting of the slap still warm on his cheek Otabek’s mind wavered teetering to turn on the dormant and demanding part of his personality in a desperate attempt to hold on to his Yura. “Yuri Please just-“

“Please, just leave!”

Seeing the mental space between them stretch in greater distance he panicked, and proceeded to make the greatest mistake of his life. Otabek stood tall tugging his sweatpants on before he reproached the blonde his eyes looming over his sprawled position on the floor _. “Get up.”_ He demanded as pulling the blonde to his feet. _“You’re being ridiculous! Why?”_ The Kazakh snarled, getting furious himself at the accusations when all he was to further his career and marry the love of his life. In his own right, Otabek knew Yuri had a point as he kept quiet about all of this, but in the struggle of trying to work everything out he failed to communicate properly. All that was tossed out the window for the moment in the male’s eyes as his boyfriend and intended fiancé was accusing him of cheating among other things the Russian no doubt cooked up in his mind which royally pissed Otabek off.  

Yuri’s spine shivered, but the look in his green orbs was full of dangerous threat. “Otabek..”He growled low at the other who held the blonde tight in his arms but not enough to bruise.   


The Kazakh was on the borderline of tears and rage, tipping on both sides of the scale in frustration. He began to spit out things he would later hate himself for saying, _“You think I go out a fuck just any one? Why would I Yuri?”_ He gripped hard to Yuri’s ass with intent. _“I’ve got this trained hole waiting for my cock at home at my beck and call.”_

Yuri shoved him away, “Fuck you! Get out!” He punched at Otabek’s chest, the hit seeming to strike like an electric shock resuscitating him.

“W-Wait Yur-“ He was being pushed and shoved out of their room, down the hall where his hands braced along the tunnel of images framed of many memories. “Yura- wait-please I-“ As Yuri opened their door, Otabek gripped the edge of the doorway tightly not wanting to let go in fear. “Yuri please. I didn’t mean it. Please. I’m sorry.” The blonde was crying aggressive tears, red circled his beautiful eyes as he glared painfully at Otabek, pleading with him.

“Please go..” Yuri whimpered as he pushed Otabek out the rest of the way quickly shutting the door in his face locking it with fumbling fingers sliding down the surface, falling to the floor like a doll with his head in his knees. He could hear Otabek try the handle, slap and knock on the door desperately for him to open the door to their home. To Yuri however, that door mean more than just their home, it meant letting Otabek back inside his head, which he couldn’t bare right now with his own thoughts overwhelming him. Anything Otabek said was muffled on the other side, even he couldn’t understand his heart tried to listen anyway in spite of his own decision.

Otabek decided to give Yuri his space, as after an hour of attempts of the door and the phone the blonde wouldn’t answer. Returning after a spontaneous run, the Kazakh returned hand reaching to try the door, the handle turned allowing him inside. Good.

Entering cautiously, he looked around the living room seeing no sign of Yuri he went into the kitchen to make them both a cup of hot chocolate. As the hot milk warmed over the stove he grabbed their special respective cups of a bear and tiger they found at a tourist center in Japan. Smiling fondly, he ran his fingers over the well-loved mugs with a few chips in the decoration from their extensive use. After preparing the drinks in both their cups, Yuri’s with extra marshmallows just how he liked it when he wanted something sweet.

Both mugs in hand he walked down the eerily dark hall to their bedroom at the end, moving quietly as not to startle Yuri should he be sleeping off the day as he would when overly stressed. Creeping slowly into the dark room he approached the bed lumped under the blankets, a sigh of relief passed over him setting the cups on the night stand before sitting down on the edge. “I brought you some hot chocolate, extra marshmallows.” He added softly patting a hand over the lump beneath the blankets, when his hand made contact he frowned at the touch. That didn’t feel right. Leaning over he turned on the lamp as tugging back the blankets only seeing the mess of pillows from their lovemaking otherwise untouched.  

Otabek dry swallowed the anxiety building in the pit of his stomach as he jumped to his feet. Scavengering with panic as he looked through the closets, the office, the bathroom-anywhere he could think of he didn’t find Yuri hiding. “Yuri please if you’re hiding just to be funny, please stop.”

He tore apart the apartment looking around to see if the blonde had been hiding as he had many times in the past just to freak the Kazakh out only to jump and surprise him. Falling to the couch he then saw taped on their tv was a note. Climbing across the coffee table, Otabek snatched it off the surface reading the horrible handwriting written in obvious rush. “Gone out, not sure when I am coming back. We can’t do this anymore. I can’t do this anymore. I love you, but this isn’t working. _It hurts too much_.” The male looked over it for any other indication of where Yuri had gone with a sigh at finding nothing further. He took a deep breath, Yuri just needed time. It would be okay, it had to be okay.

 _They were fine_.

Yuri would come back and they would talk this out and everything would be  _fine._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This particular chapter was semi inspired the songs "Take me to church" by Hozier and " Hallelujah" Cover by Pentatonix.   
> Kudos and Comments very much appreciated.


	4. No More.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Decided to be awesome and update the next chapter since I had it all ready <3 Especially since I took a little longer updating than I planned. Well~ Here we go. :)

It was late afternoon, a Thursday precisely when Otabek emerged from the bedroom in a daze. The Kazakh hadn’t been sleeping, it was difficult without the tall blonde of warmth he loved at his side in wrapped up in his arms. Past dreams and luxury of bliss slumber was gone with his boyfriend whom was still gone after 3 and a half weeks. Still his boyfriend, Otabek reassured himself for the thousandth time that day alone that this fight would blow over. This little argument was nothing and his Yura would be back home any minute after he calmed down with some venting to his self-adopted parents. They were fine.

However, with the silence still ringing bare in his ears the male found it much harder to pretend that everything was the same, that Yuri Plisetsky was still coming back. This was them, they knew each other better than themselves most days, but…no-  


“Its fine.” Otabek breathed out softly in a shutter as running a hand aggressively though his unkept hair. His scruff of a beard had grown in a tad with his lack of hygiene as the man had been too worried he would miss Yuri’s call or presence should he return if he made an attempt to shower. It was pathetic, but Yuri was his whole world; the very air he breathed giving him life, the Russian meant everything to him.

His hand bracing along the wall as he stared blankly over the framed pictures littering along the hallway surrounding him threating to swallow him whole with the happy memories teasing the Kazakh’s brain every time he left their bedroom.

Otabek halted his glide of step, eyes locked on one particular picture taking the frame off the wall holding it tight in his grasp. A small collage strip photo from their first kiss, well second for the picture, but it was still beautiful. He could almost remember it now the pair of them stuffed together pressed tight in the clunk of a photo booth from the festival in Japan. Both paired off in their yukatas with a few skating companions they all played games and strolled along the road checking out the celebration’s festivities. The Kazakh remembered the bright burst of light that came across Yuri’s face when he saw the small booth tucked in the corner between two game stalls. Course, the duo of Viktor and Katsuki found the booth first, but once Yuri had his mind set on one- upping them Otabek knew he didn’t have a chance. The Russian pleaded insistently with him dragging him to the contraption wanting them to take an even cooler photo in the corny cliché of a machine, but of course Otabek would follow Yuri anywhere.

There they were, a little too snug in the booth-finally after numerous attempts resulting in Yuri sitting in Otabek’s lap, his arm draped over his shoulder the Kazakh’s in turn wrapped tight around the blonde’s waist. A flash of light blinded them both immediately after they paid, meaning they only had 3 more pictures causing Yuri to curse and the pair of them needing to work fast for a pose. Course, Otabek was only a man, with the boy he loved in his lap squirming this way and that over his thinly clothed member was almost torture making it difficult to focus on anything the blonde was saying to him. Another flash passed over his eyes snapping the Kazakh back to reality, or was this a dream to have his friend’s face so close to his own, sitting in his lap in his arms. He blankly stared as Yuri took his hand assisting him to make a thumbs-up pose with the Russian smirking at the lense in front of them, himself eyes still locked on the beauty before him. All that was on his mind in that moment was holding back his erection and the thought of how Yuri’s lips would taste. So, without thinking Otabek leaned forward pressing a kiss to the corner of the blonde’s mouth quickly then pulling away just before the next flash which captured Yuri’s surprised expression in his direction.

A heartbeat passed between the two of them, green orbs locked with brown as silent communication passed. Both moving at the same time with speed they clashed their mouths together joining in their first real kiss, hands on each other with the final flash capturing the moment. Not paying the light any mind they kissed; it was awkward, but to them it was perfect.

Without realizing it tears were rolling down Otabek’s cheeks as he stared at the memory thumb running along the edgings of Yuri’s face. A pounding knock tore through Otabek’s body from the door of the apartment making him jolt in alarm dropping the picture to the ground shattering the glass along the floor. His limbs rushed the final amount of the hallway, nearly taking himself out on their bookshelf Otabek recovered tripping over his feet reaching for the door. It was Yuri, he didn’t have his key-he came back!

Nearly tearing the door off its hinges, the male pulled the door open with a deep inhale prepared to fall to his knees and beg for forgiveness only to choke on air at the sight of Mila, Yuri’s rink mate standing there before him in his doorway.

Her eyes sad, teeth biting into her lower lip as she nervously fidgeted in her stance with a large box in one hand and Yuri’s large leopard suitcase in another. “Hi..” God her voice nearly broke the damn of tears they were merely trickling down his face.

“Wh-Where is he?” He spoke softly not even bothering to hide his emotions for her, he needed to know desperately where Yuri was.

As she shook her head making her red hair bounce she held tighter to the handle in her palm taking a deep breath before speaking. “He isn’t coming Otabek, Yuri..sent me to get the rest of his things.”

Otabek felt the very soul sucked out from beneath him pooling at his feet in mockery as he was frozen solid unable to stop her from walking in tugging the box and bag with her, the wheels rolling on the hardwood floor sounded like thunder in the Kazakh’s ears. His body unmoving watched as she tugged out a small crumbled paper from her jean pocket where there was a list of items some words scratched out others circled. This was it, wasn’t it?

Shutting the door Otabek walked across the room towards the couch taking a seat, eyes a lost as he watched the red-head start putting Yura’s things into the box. He had to stop her, those were Yura’s things. If she took them, then Yuri wouldn’t have any reason to come back and there would be no pretending anymore that they were fine-that the blonde was just staying late at practice again and things were just fine. Fine, what a joke that was now as Otabek watched Mila put item after item into the box taking away pieces of Yuri that he was clinging onto.

After she grabbed some things from the living area Mila looked to the male tearing apart his mind from the inside on the couch. “Otabek,” the man flinched at his name. Slowly, she approached him holding out the sheet of paper to him, “He wrote down…these records and cds..I don’t know-music like this…so-can you…?”

Blank eyes passed over the sheet, reaching delicately to the paper taking it with care as if it were going to burst into flames at his touch. His eyes wandering over the list he then swallowed a sound as he stood up in a rush walking to their-no…his now…work room. Fingers glided over the organized stacks of records and CDs decorating a wall in a bookshelf. They collected these together…with each album on the list Otabek found it harder to breath with the lump in his throat dangerously threatening to kill him and completely to fall in the pit of his stomach. Once he got to the end of the list he shook his head punching a fist to the wall holding I there as he bent over shuttering a breath. Mila watched helplessly at the man’s reaction.

“Not that one, he is _not_ taking it.”

The list crumpled even more in his fist before he took a deep breath shuttering an exhale before smoothing out the list over the wall gently. “Why is he doing this?” He asked lowly, to himself most likely-what did it matter? “Is he trying to erase everything?...he can’t I won’t let him…He isn’t taking ‘our’ tracks. We made those together, I won’t let him take those.” He shook his head as heading to the bedroom to gather the further things on the list, body completely numb.

After Mila seemed to grab everything, except the few self-made records and cds Yuri requested specifically with a circle around them, she taped up the box with some tape and zipped up the suitcase. Eyes met Otabek’s tortured ones threatening to break, “Otabek I’m sorry…”

“Just go, please.” He said in a whisper beneath his breath.

She opened her mouth to speak about the tracks Yuri requested, but one more glance at the shaking fist at Otabek’s side she decided against it. The man was obviously holding himself together by a thread of dignity in front of her, she knew he was at his limit. “I’ll…see you around?” Mila smiled sadly at him as heading out the door, within seconds of her stepping past the threshold the door slammed behind her where she heard a painful sound of Otabek on the other side.

Otabek choked a sound in his throat as he rapidly reached for his phone dialing Yuri’s number hitting his speed dial.

                -‘The number you have dialed is no longer in service, please check the number and try again.’

No. No! Otabek quickly redialed, with panic seeping completely over him as he heard one ring play over his ears before-

                -‘The number you have dialed is no longer-“

Again and again he redialed, it couldn’t be!

                -‘The number you have diale-“

“No…” Otabek gasped out trying to breath as anxiety crawled beneath his skin making his hands shake as he redialed.

                -‘The number you ha-“

No!

                -‘The number y-“

_NO!_

                -‘The numb-‘

“NO!!!!!!!” Then, he finally broke as the Kazakh fell to his knees sinking to the floor, phone in pieces against the opposite wall that he had no memory tossing. Hands tugging tight on his hair as he curled into himself wheezing in his lungs.

The man didn’t know how long he lay there on the cold wooden floor, alone. Every possession of the man who was his most prized one was gone, no comfort would come to him. It was over…

Numbly he stood shakily to go to bed, try and keep….calm. There he lay, solid on their atrocious leopard print sheets feeling the pricks of needles carving away at every crevice beneath his skin. His hand reached blindly for his life line, support that was the very cause of his despair in this moment only for his palm to meet with the cold side of the bed with fingers curling into Yuri’s pillow. Pinching his fingers over a glimmering strand he plucked up the thread of hair gifted by his once sleeping beauty. He can’t do this.

_He needed…_

Otabek dragged himself from bed, pulled on his shoes and made way out into the night down about three blocks to the liquor store. The countless bottles for the choosing,

_He needed…_

Hands shakily reached for an iced bottle of authentic Russian Vokda, his and Yuri’s favorite. His cold trembling hands felt frozen to the glass bottle refusing to let it go now that it was in his tight grip. No-he should put it back, walk back home…Otabek promised..he promised his Yura…his…

…Yura…that wasn’t _his_ any longer…

There was no way he could do this, but he needs sleep..just to go to sleep. For him to forget that he was going to bed this Thursday alone again..for good this time.

He would forget.

He would forget that, Otabek would sleep…and when the Kazakh would wake up it would all be okay…right? A single warm tear rolled down his cheek as he trembled against the cooler door, forehead pressed against the glass with eyes shut. Yuri’s voice was ringing inside his head not to do this; that he was strong, but it was too late for Otabek knew he had already made his choice

It was over, his lifeline was gone making his brain activity flat line.

With a swipe of a card it was done, the Kazakh walking into the night with bottles in bags and tear stains on his sleeve.

_Otabek Altin was no more._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More to come soon <3  
> Thanks for reading :)  
> Comments and Kudos appreciated <3
> 
> This chapter was mildly inspired by "Somebody that I used to know" by Gotye  
> (If i were to make a playlist of songs for this fic on youtube would any be interested in checking it out? --thought of putting all the songs for the fic there, gives good brainstorming to you guys on what might happen next)


	5. Falling Away With Guilt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning!!!!!!!!!  
> (((((There is a scene some might feel sensitive to relating to rape, but It is not detailed nor in explicit detail as the case though consensual one didn't know the other wanted to stop. That is why there is no archive warnings on this. If it is felt in concern I should add this warning after reading this chapter, I will add it. But in my opinion in this case of scenario I didn't personally find it necessary. ))))
> 
> On a side note: Thank you for reading and keeping up with this story everyone. I enjoy the comments I see. Thank you.

_ Ohhhhh Father tell me, ‘We get what we deserve. Oh we get what we deserve.’ _

_ And way down we go….. _

What was wrong with him, Yuri wondered. Why was every emotional fiber of his being attacking him like bugs beneath his skin and hands around his throat? Of course, humiliation made him fall deeper down into the dirt at the respect he fell to his knees in front of Victor and Yuuri’s home, collapsed on the steps all energy exerted from him. It was when Victor stepped out that the older man yelped in alarm rushing to help the blonde to stand to get him inside the house.

The questions, the concerned faces and pleading- it was all numb to Yuri now that he felt the world slipping more and more color now that Otabek wasn’t a part of it. What a horrible feeling, being alone. He was perfectly fine before, being on his own, but then that Kazakh had to weasel his way into his life and heart tearing him with love. A beautiful death he could call it, to be in love- but a reckless and stupid one.

Yuri didn’t hardly speak to either of them, only what was strictly necessary to get by without them worrying too much, which was impossible for those two idiots not to. He tried to lessen their concern over him with assisting in daily chores as he was staying there currently after all. He wished so desperately that he could fight the ache in his heart to bring it to a dull blanking void of nothingness, but he didn’t want to give the man up. He refused to let go of Otabek, not wanting to loosen the tight grip on the memory of the man’s voice in his ear and fingers pressed along his thighs.

The haunting ghosting touches of memory tingled along the blonde’s skin as he sat on day nine, still refusing to speak more than a few words. His fingers nightly hovered over the button on his phone achingly wanting to call his boyfriend back and talk this over, but his pride and anxiety kicked in for the first time in years making him pull back from reaching out.

It must be over, it was a wonder they lasted this long he thought but that idea was merely a lie and Yuri knew it. He knew they could have, they were made for each other-perfect like the dumb puzzle piece metaphors Yuri would always see in a hallmark card. The blonde was completely heartbroken with the wrenching fact that he did this, somehow this was all his fault. Maybe he was too aggressive, too hot headed…maybe he was too young though only three years apart he had indeed matured greatly with age. In Yuri’s mind, there was an extensive list of possible reasons Otabek was pulling away-or was he. God, the blonde didn’t even know anymore as everything was just blinding to him on the right path.

Guilt came in like smashing glass on day fourteen when he sent Mila to gather his things. Listing off from the most prized possessions to the easily replaceable hair ties in their joined bathroom—trying to erase himself completely, after all Otabek deserved better than a jealous and over emotional guy like him.

He specifically requested some items by circling them with a quick swirl of his pen around the object. Very few things were of that great importance, but some were a must. One specifically was what the pair of them called ‘their track’.

It wasn’t music per say, not to Yuri’s ears though Otabek would differ- it was something incredibly personal.

                                                Starting out on a beautiful day about a year ago, the pair was enjoying the sunny day at home. Yuri sprawled out on the couch of their apartment staring up at the ceiling paying no thought to particularly anything til his ears caught the array of sound coming from Otabek’s office. The sounds were a beautiful blend of cellos and drums that stirred something strong within his chest making his breathing heavy. His boyfriend was creating that beautiful piece of work that practically pinned him to the hardwood floor as if he were a mere specimen on a dissection tray.

With wavering in his posture, the blonde stood up making way to the room standing in the door way, eyes locked on Otabek’s back as the Kazakh moved his fingers along dials and keys. Headphones on, the male didn’t hear Yuri approach him from behind hugging him in a gentle lock of arms around his shoulder’s pressing a gentle kiss to the male’s jaw lovingly, eyes bearing adoration to the man’s dark honey brown.

Within time, innocent touches like a spark blazed into fire leaving Yuri braced on Otabek’s keyboard face down, hips raised high in the air on the tips of his toes as his lover thrust deep into his channel. Moans elicited from the blonde loudly gasping with the quivers of pleasure shaking beneath his skin. Strong hands braced on the light curve of his waist the other tugging hard at his hair,controlling the blonde’s every breath in each forceful yank.

Yuri wasn’t worried, trust had been built between them for him to fear nothing with this man. If he wanted to stop it would be easy, one word is all it would take for Otabek to either slow down or halt completely. With one word they were each other’s very law in which this particular game was played. Yuri was often easy to bite back at first with words, but they both knew it was all for show and that the blonde would bend to Otabek’s will should he command it. Thus, why he was braced over his boyfriend’s sound equipment gasping moans into the mic that was on record. The two of them making ‘music’ in which Otabek would in turn add numerous additions to their tracks sometimes adding in instrumental sounds to compliment mostly Yuri’s vocals.

Climax hit the blonde hard as he struggled to keep himself still over the dials, a command Otabek made quite clear he wasn’t to touch. This made him fight to hold himself up from collapsing over the equipment his fingertips threatening to slip from the top of the desk to make him fall as his legs were jello.  “Please” He whimpered softly, his plea reaching the Kazakh who pulled out gently to then pull him from the work station with care.

“Beautiful Yura,” The man praised as brushing fingers over Yuri’s sweat covered hair sticking to his skin. “Tired already? I haven’t even come yet.” Yuri shook his head letting his body fall to his knees looking up at the other with a lustful haze, legs still trembling slightly down to his toes. Otabek’s eyes went dark and serious, his hand caressing over the blonde’s lightly sweat covered face. His fingers caressed over Yuri’s hair brushing back the strands lovingly, letting his other hand tease over the edge of the Russian’s lips as he then asked, “Okay?” Speaking softly, those eyes wandered over Yuri’s form watching the blonde’s head nod quickly wanting to continue, but he knew Otabek was looking. The man no matter what always kept an eye out for Yuri’s well being, even before they started whatever this was. He knew intimately so the blonde’s limits, and they were still a ways off though that didn’t stop the man from reassuring himself they were okay to keep going. Yuri was top priority.

After deeming Yuri was honest, he braced a hand to his cock. “Speak, what do you want? This?” He gave his long thick cock a squeeze, precum glistening over the head of the member.

Yuri nodded with a quick nod of his head and an eager bounce of his body. “Yes, please.” He panted, legs wiggling to bring himself closer only to be halted by a powerful hand on his shoulder briefly, for the Kazakh to then guide him towards his hips.  With a pleased groan, Otabek’s hands weaved into Yuri’s hair tangling into the long strands gripping into them tight like a vice at the base of his scalp. He watched patiently as Yuri began cleverly rolling his tongue, sucking him with purpose. Yuri’s eyes bore into Otabek’s, expression behind them wanting-needing Otabek to do more. Otabek understood clearly as he pulled back most of the way from Yuri’s heated mouth, the blonde’s body following forward, wanting.

Otabek chuckled lightly, his hand scratching and massaging in Yuri’s hair as he then whispered. “I’m going to fuck your face Kitten,” he said strongly petting behind the male’s ear, a spot both knew was a weakness to Yuri. “You slap my thigh three times if you need to stop, understand.” He pulled out from the blonde’s mouth completely wanting to hear verbal confirmation, consent. Yuri moved forward on his knees trying to take him back down his throat, obviously not listening to Otabek’s words which in times like this, were _law._

“Yuri.” He said sternly holding back the blonde by the hold in his hair at the nap of Yuri's neck. “Answer me, do you understand?”

“Yes,” He breathed out harsh through his nose a shiver running over the pale skin giving the males goosebumps.

Otabek smirked at the male on the floor, starting mess to the degree the blonde would be in at the end of all of this made the Kazakh’s heart flutter in happiness as he was the only one who got to see Yuri like this, vulnerable and needy. He decided to be a little mean, pushing more knowing the Russian loved it. He gave a small quick tug of the blonde’s hair making those green orbs roll back in sudden pleasure with a sounding moan and roll of his hips over the floor.

“Yes who?” He massaged over the patch where he pulled only to tug again making Yuri arch his entire body from his position on his knees, chest arched out in surrendering submission. “Tell me baby, who?”

“F-fuck, Daddy.” Yuri shuttered sound as he peaked at Otabek down the bridge of his nose. “I understand, please. Sir, use me please.” He licked over his lips slowly as if he were parched, dehydrated so greatly that Otabek’s cock would quench that thirst.

“Come ‘ere” The Kazakh smiled guiding his head back towards his cock, “Three times.” He advised again, wanting this to continue to be safe. The blonde nodded in understanding before his mouth was then filled with the man’s cock filling his mouth. There was no break between entry and thrusts that suddenly were rolling over his wet tongue. Yuri’s eyes rolled into the back of his skull as he succumbed himself to the pleasure of Otabek’s praising words flooding over the room against the squelching smack of skin.

“Good boy,” The dark-haired male grunted out. “So good, my perfect Yuri.” The thrusts went on with sounds of groans from Otabek’s lips. There was no warning when the male came over the blonde’s tongue, down his throat. Pulling his flaccid cock from Yuri’s mouth, Otabek grinned down fingers grasping at Yuri’s jaw pinching at the cheeks forcing him to open wide taking in the pleasure of seeing the blonde had swallowed. 

_“My beautiful Yura…”_

Numerous recordings and mixes were made, though not all were from the sex stirring constantly between them. Sometimes, Otabek would be sneaky and snatch a recording here and there off his recorder of the dumbest things. Sometimes when Yuri would hum doing the dishes, or shouting at him for eating the last vitamin water. Even a time where he kept whispering things on a lazy Sunday morning, domestic loving words that could give anyone diabetes from the Kazakh’s sweetness, though corny at times it may be.

Those memories, dutifully recorded by his boyfriend who created ‘their songs’. Yuri never knew what he truly used them for, he suspected for his personal spank bank. However, a time the Kazakh had told him it helps him when he has a creative block on his mind, that Yuri brings him out of it with his ‘music’- something Yuri to this day didn’t understand but so long as it made Otabek happy it was okay.

Just, those ridiculous and beyond embarrassing tracks were something that he wanted first when making his list. He wanted that memory for the rest of his life—it was selfish as they made them together in their own respective ways, but he couldn’t hold back.

So, when Mila returned with his things that was the first thing he looked for only for her to tell him Otabek refused to give them to her. This tore him down to fall to his knees in a sob. Sure, this was his decision, Otabek had every right to say no-but just the refusal had given him the reality that they were over.

_Done._

_Yuri Plisetsky too, was gone._

  

* * *

 

 

A month had passed.

Though, to Otabek it had felt like an eternity, one of his own personal hell.

Inside the apartment that was once theirs, bottles were covering every surface. Empty bottles, cans, and cups littering, spilling all over. The vulgar smell of just alcohol stained the home that had once ran throughout with the scent of cotton and honey. Love had left the place leaving only guilt and sadness. Otabek sat there, sprawled was a better term for how his body was tossed about over the couch. Take out boxes and trash of all types paired with the containers granting him his shame of dependence. The Kazakh’s eyes were void of life as he stared blankly at the tv flickering a show he cared nothing about, the noise was the only grounding sense to reality the man had. The man still worked, DJed a few nights a week making enough money to keep their-his apartment paid for and himself living comfortably, if this is what comfort was the man should be drowning away from it. This isn’t comfort, this was just him waiting. Waiting for inspiration, a reason for him get up every day wondering why he was still alive. Waiting for the guilt to leave every time his shaky hands raised a glass of whisky, beer, vodka-anything alcohol to his lips to numb the pain. He hated himself, tears streaming constant down his face it was a wonder their streaks didn’t become permanent along his cheeks. He was waiting for everything, his everything to return. Yuri, he was waiting desperately that any day the male would walk through that door saying it was all a cruel joke. That one day, Otabek would wake up in their bed instead of the filth surrounding him to find it was only a dream, where Yuri would be silly..say he was being stupid and that everything was fine but hug him close anyway reassuring him with hands in his hair. Only it wasn’t.

No, day after day the Kazakh woke up covered in spills and garbage drag himself to his shower where he would wash away the outer layer of regret and shame before dragging himself to work over a club’s crowd only to return home in the early morning to press repeat.

Otabek easily guessed the blonde was staying with the power duo of the ice Victor and Yuuri. He tried to call, he called with embarrassment at his slurring voice as he begged for anything they knew about Yuri. They wouldn’t help him. After calling every day, eventually Katsuki spared his soul to tell him that Yuri needed time, that he was safe…that he needed to stop calling. The Japanese male told him he would call if and when things would change, but the Kazakh didn’t believe him. He knew how he sounded, drunk and in a panic obsessing over his once best friend, lover, everything.

So, there he sat, repeating himself day after day hoping the pain or his heart would stop-whichever came first. He thought about returning home, seeing his family, but…he couldn’t. He chose Yuri when his father made him decide his last visit. Thus, ending his relationship with his homophobic father, his mother either too prideful or scared to call first while his sister must have been lied to on the whole situation. Either way, Otabek couldn’t bring himself to go begging forgiveness for his ‘wrongdoings’ as Yuri was the best decision of his life no matter the cost, no matter the heartache he felt now. He couldn’t regret telling his father he planned on marrying the Russian upon the next year following a proper proposal once he had given it to the blonde with a ring. No, Otabek would let the remains of himself crumble away killing himself slowly with the depression and poison he drank every day and night stumbling himself to the couch once more refusing to sleep let alone die in their bed.

Only a month had passed.

Why should he rise up? Bring himself from grace? Without his angel, he rather let himself fall and his demons consume him.

 

 

* * *

 

 

A month had passed.

Yuri thought this had been for the better; better for him, for Otabek , for them both.

How wrong he had been to think walking away from their relationship would help him. Yuri was suffocating, looking in the mirror he saw himself withering away. He wondered if the Victor and Yuuri could see it on his face. They reassured him time and time again when he was ready to talk there would be no judgement. He knew Otabek was trying to reach him, the pig had told him this and that he should try and work things out. Seeing, knowing they both were in torment. Yuri could only refuse as his pride and guilt made him hate himself for doing this to the man. He was wrong. God he was wrong. This was all his fault. He did this to them, they were perfect..needed communication but they were perfect. Why the fuck did he ruin that? He was tired, more so than before.

The blonde had suspected at the beginning Otabek would approach him at the rink, beg forgiveness on his knees-where he knew after a tantrum he would have. However, the man never came. The Kazakh never came to the rink, nor his gym, or the studio. He began to wonder if Otabek was really over him so easily that he wouldn’t fight for him. Selfish of him to think seeing as Yuri was the one that ended it, but he wanted the Kazakh to want him. Be his knight and tell him he was being ridiculous and prove wrong every insecurity the Russian had felt over the past few months of their relationship. It never came.

Fuck, he hated the look in his gaze. Long had his tears run dry from days of red swollen eyes and body turned on him from lack of nutrition. Without Victor and Yuuri, though annoying they forced him to pull himself together enough to force food down his throat. He no longer hid out in the darkness of their guestroom. Yuri began to live again, if you could call it living. He wore a mask of passable tolerance on his face when in front of others, but alone it would break when he would remember a touch, a phrase, anything that reminded him of Otabek triggering him to hole up in his room for the rest of the night.

It was one month, and he wasn’t done. Yuri wasn’t going down like this. He didn’t let his mother or anyone else drag him down and he would be damned if he wasted another night of thought on Otabek Altin. After a shower, the blonde brushed out his long hair letting it flow fluidly over his shoulders down his back. Painting his skin in light makeup to hide the bags beneath his eyes he inhaled sharply choking down a sob threating to overcome him. No.

Tugging on a pair of dark purple jeans hugging his body tight in all the right places, he paired it with a black shirt cut into a deep v-neckline. Throwing on his boots he grabbed his phone and wallet he strolled out of his bedroom with a slam of the door. Walking down the hall past the couple cozied up on the couch, their jaws dropped at the sight of him as he reached into the fridge for a water bottle.

“Y-Yurio…where you going?” the pig asked as standing up, followed by Victor at his side. Their eyes were following his every movement, their words slow like they expected him to run off into the distance like a deer in headlights.

“Out” He grumbled with a glare in their direction opening a drawer in the kitchen reaching far back grabbing a condom from the hidden pack. He gave them a scoff when they looked at him in surprise. “Don’t. I found them last week while doing dishes.” He hissed before brushing past Victor with a shove.

“Yuri no. Please, you don’t…what do you think you’re doing?” Victor threatened knowing Yuri far better than the blonde thought. The older man’s eyes narrowed seeing the younger grab the keys to his car. “And just where do you think you are taking my car?”

“Fuck off old man! I’ll be back!” He started for the front door only for the silverette to grab his arm. “THE FUCK-“

Victor’s expression made him want to vomit from the concern laced in those blue hues, making his stomach ache and tears threaten to fall from his eyes. He had to get out of there before he changed his mind. “Yuri, what about Otabek. You guys need to talk this out-“

“Let go.” Yuri hissed low under his breath.

“No we are going to talk about this-“

“I said let go!” He punched Victor in the face knocking the man back in surprise. His chest heaved as his jaw dropped in surprise at what he had done. Yuri looked at his hands, his entire body for that matter was shaking. He didn’t mean it. Fuck. “I-I’m sorry.” He then stormed out the door rushing down the stairs to the garage where he fumbled with the keys to unlock the man’s car. “Fuck!” He screamed at the top of his lungs against the steering wheel as he peeled out fast, tires screeching over the cement when Yuri drove off with speed.

It didn’t take long. Yuri went to a bar, with a few bats of his lashes and teasing touches he found himself driving to a stranger’s apartment. Everything was a blur with the amount of shots he consumed to get himself to numb the voice, sounding like Otabek pleading him not to do this. The voice dulled in his mind with the buzzing ring of alcohol swimming through his thoughts as this man, not remotely comparable to his-Otabek, but still attractive enough slammed him against the wall. It was heated, tongues and teeth was their kiss as the male manhandled him to the bedroom bending him over the bed. Sweet words mean nothing to him as he snapped over his shoulder for the fucker to get on with it spreading his legs to raise his hips holding the condom which the man immediately took from his fingers. There was no gentle caress when the man sloppily tried to stir him up with foreplay. Spit was slimily all over his back and shoulder from the man’s attempts. Yuri laying there, cock hardly hard was laying there between his legs against the sheets.

He deserved this…He thought to himself at the sound of the condom ripping open behind him.

His body earned every torment for reckless decision. The first breach of entrance made Yuri choke back a sound as he was suddenly filled with a thrust where the man seated himself deep inside. The blonde bit hard to his arm, refusing to make a sound. He chose this, this was his choice.

When the thrusts began they drove hard inside him, they weren’t gratifying at all, though not painful that didn’t make the Russian feel any less sick to the stranger taking pleasure in fucking him. There was a force, impatience in the man’s thrusts pushing inside him with not an ounce of technique or tempo. Though, the blonde didn’t care, the man bruising his hips and whining in his neck was nothing, just like him. He didn’t deserve the sensations of Otabek’s memory. He disgraced him, but it was with the hands suddenly in his hair tugging it back in a harsh pull that Yuri’s mind came back to him.

_No…_

“No…” he said softly under his breath in realization and clarity that in fact no he didn’t want this with a tear rolling down his cheek. These weren’t Otabek’s hands commanding him, pressing in his hips and thighs. It wasn’t the love of his life pulling hard on his hair, definitely was not that dominating pull in the silky strands nor in the thrusts inside him. He didn’t want a one-night stand, a fuck where it meant nothing and would be no pleasure. He didn’t want this fucker’s hands  _on what was Otabek’s_ for one more second!

“Stop.” He said with a cry into the pillow as he tried to hold himself together. The man continued to fuck into him faster mistaking his muffled voice in the pillow for a moan. He forced his body up to punch back at the man behind him. “I SAID FUCKING STOP!”

The man’s thrusts though sloppy didn’t falter, the stranger moaning loud as he thrust inside him. Was this jackass even listening?! “get the fuck off-ME!” He snarled with a broken voice moaning when the man brushed barely, but just a tease over his prostate the man too lost in his own pleasure to pay what he was saying any mind. “s-to-ah-p!” He panted with a crying moan hating his body for its natural reaction, betraying himself and Otabek by giving in. No-the fuck he was not! Forcing his body up from the force of the other’s pressing arm he swung his arm hard to the man’s jaw making contact with a brutal punch.  

“What the fuck?!” The man shouted holding his face before pulling out of the blonde in alarm. “The fuck is wrong with you?!”

Yuri panted to compose himself, body shaking in rage, need, and fault. “You aren’t him!” He shouted, his voice broken up with tears streaming once more down his face for the first time in two weeks. “You. Aren’t. Him!” The blonde grabbed his clothes tugging on his shirt and underwear tossing a flip of the bird from his finger to the man sitting dumbfounded in his bed. “Fuck you, and you moan like a cow!” He grabbed his phone and keys rushing out the door, he let the tears flow freely as he drove with speed back home. Eyes red and blotchy he entered the apartment prepared for a scolding where he was suddenly then pulled into Victor’s arms with Yuri behind him in a double embrace.

“Where were you? The fuck is wrong with you Yuri.” Victor whispered into his ears. “Don’t you ever do that to me again.  _Ever_.”

Yuri struggled to keep his words level when he just wanted to cry to the pair and tell them everything. Fuck, they were everything his mother wasn’t. They wanted him around, took care of him, made sure he had full support in anything he did. He disappointed them. He didn’t use to care, but these idiots were his family, they wormed their way into being his parents and rightfully earned the title.

“I-I-..I’m sorry.” He sobbed out clinging tight to them both. “I-“ he swallowed as he tears kept flowing hot down his cheeks in hiccupping sobs. “I-messed up. I-..What is wrong with me?!” Yuri screamed out as his legs buckled beneath him taking him to the floor, the pair joined him comforting him with a brush of his hair through fingers and hands rubbing reassuringly along his back.

“Its okay, we’re here.” Yuuri said softly tugging wet sticking strands of blonde away from his red cheeks.

“But he is not. I did this to us…its all my fault.” He smashed his hand to his head “What was I thinking?! Why didn’t I just talk to him?!” Smacking his hand to his head, it was soon grabbed after a few hits by one of them holding it tight in their grasp. “T-Then tonight, I- made a huge mistake, but-but I couldn’t go through with it…not completely t-they weren’t him” Yuri sobbed out no longer caring if he looked weak before them, he gave up.

This angelic solider as his lover had once called him has lost his wings.

Stripped bear with scars on his back of his shame, his pride and lost taken from him.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading.  
> Made this chapter a little longer for you all <3  
> Thanks again,  
> Comments and Kudos are appreciated.  
> This chapter was partially inspired by "Way Down We Go" by Kaleo-A/B


	6. A Mistake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still here :) Life has been really crazy lately so thank you all for being patient. <3  
> Here is the next chapter. 
> 
> ((It's a little smaller, but honestly with things going on just needed a quick stress relief so honestly it could be better, but I hope you all enjoy it anyway. Later on I'll probably go through and edit to repost as longer. Just honestly have been dealing with so much...:( ))

Time had passed. Sorrow, guilt, pride both dragging the pair down like weights making time pass slow and deathly like an old silent film. Death, to Otabek however was increasingly becoming a better option than living with the fear of living another hour without his tiger, his kitten in his life and arms. Somehow in the midst of broken bottles and molding dishes the Kazakh found strength in staring at the ring delicately untouched on the coffee table before him. It was small, but enough of a spark in his morbidly tired eyes he saw it the faint light at the end of the tunnel. He wouldn’t get Yuri back living this way, hell…even he was to sell his soul to be his friend again he would do it in a heartbeat.

Dragging his sorry ass out off the couch, sluggishly stepping past trash of all kinds spread throughout the apartment he approached the bathroom turning on the shower. The steam a soft reminder of a clean start, a shuttering breath escaping him he reached for the bottle of shaving cream slowly spreading generous amounts across his stubble. The swish of the unused blade, crisp against his skin left his skin feeling anew. The awakening reminder of the many times Yuri would wrap his arms around his torso in his early morning routines, snuggling against his back. Smiling fondly at the warmth of the memory, almost feeling the blonde’s body against his own he continued his shave, he even retouched his undercut too giving it a fresh trim.

After a much-needed shower, Otabek stepped out of the bathroom drying his hair having washed away the remnants of self-pity and wallowing feeling like a whole layer of skin had been shed away. Then, a nervous call to the club was made asking if there was a slot to perform tonight, he needed to get out there again, to live. He needed to take the first step, which the owner was actually thrilled. The man talked about how fast the house would sell out, not that the Kazakh believed him, but he supposed it didn’t matter. This was for him.

Dressing himself fashionably, he chugged down his forth bottle of water since he had awoken. Deciding to spend the day outside in the awaking hours before he was due to arrive at the club, the male strolled down the streets and through the park’s clenching a water bottle tight in his hand for strength with a ring dazzling in the sun’s light hanging off his neck.

* * *

 

“YURI! HEY WAKE UP! YURIIII”

“Fuck, what does someone have to do to get some sleep around here?” Grumbled a voice from beneath the mountain of blankets on the couch. “What you want Kastudon?”

“Otabek’s playing at ICE* Tonight! You know, that club downtown?! Everyone is really hyped about it! He hasn’t been in the news late…ly…since..well-“ The Asian shook his head fast. “You need to go.”

“He doesn’t want to see me…I wouldn’t want to see me.” Yuri scoffed eyes locked on his phone, acting as if he wasn’t already locked in on reading such news himself. Even though he denied it and fought, in the end he found himself standing outside the club in one of Otabek’s favorite outfits. He wanted to make sure the Kazakh would notice him, he needed to talk to him. He wanted to talk this out, the blonde knew he had to at least see him. He had been in a stage of depression himself, struggling to make a decision on how to make amends. It was without a doubt if he didn’t have the two love birds doting on him to make sure he ate, bathed, and got a needed amount of sleep the Russian would be in much worse shape physically. Mentally, he was still fighting the hatred towards himself for allowing himself to walk away, to leave—not only that, but even much time later after the incident with that drunken stranger he felt like he greatly betrayed his once lover.

Walking in the club easily passing the line—like fuck them he looked good—It was crowded due to the fact of the sudden appearance of Otabek no doubt. The Kazakh had been avoiding the public for months so everyone was eager for their gossip and fanfuel of the former skater. Huffing his way past some drunk girls Yuri made way to the sidelines looking up to feel his heart stop at the sight of the Kazakh effortlessly playing the crowd into the palm of his hands. Fuck, he looked good—he looked beautifully perfect and hot up there no doubt sweating up a storm beneath those spot lights. His foot tapping angrily on the dance floor, nerves eating him up he growled with a stop of his foot over the tiled floor. Swishing around he dropped some money on the counter ordering a shot, quickly tossing the burning liquid down his throat with a clearing gasp before weaving through the dance floor. Moving his body with Otabek’s music he felt hands upon his hips, his eyes otherwise locked on the DJ he supposed this might be an added effect. Fuck the guy behind him, he wasn’t going to get anything from him a little dance wouldn’t hurt.

It was when the male’s hands began to wander and his own body give in to the touches for an added effect he felt—no saw the Kazakh’s eyes locked on his form pinning him beneath the gaze. He could feel himself getting turned on by Otabek’s stern stare making his erection press against his leather trousers. This however made his dancing partner think it was him causing such an effect—ugh the hell it was. Once the song ended, the blonde turned around giving a murderous glare that could kill any under it’s daggers. “Touch me again with your disgusting hands I’ll cut them off with your dick”

With that the Russian walked on towards the bar passing a glance up towards the stage, hmm? Otabek was gone, some other guy was up there. Guess his set was done. Looking over the crowd the blonde tried to spot the Kazakh in the sea of strangers who were just minutes ago screaming his name. Sighing he let himself head towards the bathroom to cool down his face for his arm to be yanked back and his back pressed against the wall. “GOD DAMNIT ASSHOLE I TOLD YOU I’D CUT-“ As he looked up, the blonde’s words caught in his throat at the sight of Otabek, eyes indeed tired and exhausted looking like he hadn’t slept in days. “Ota-mmph” Lips pressed fast to the blonde’s lips in a heated, but somehow gentle frenzy.

Pulling away, Otabek’s eyes wandered over Yuri’s—so sad in their glistening gaze. “Come-- with me.” The male spoke fast in grabbing the blonde’s hand dragging him out the door of the club and onto the street into the alley where his bike had been parked. “Get on.” He said tossing the helmet in Yuri’s direction himself immediately getting on the bike waiting for Yuri to follow. Getting on himself, the blonde wrapped his arms around the other’s waist dumbfounded at what exactly was going on. Where were they going? That kiss…His lips still tingled warmly at the familiar sensation. His thoughts however halted briefly as a warm hand pressed tight over Yuri’s own holding it in its protective grasp..for more than a second or two before releasing it to then take off swiftly down the street.

It was a blur, the quick two minute ride to their home where he was yanked off the bike and lead upstairs with a strong but gentle hands guiding him fast up the steps as they had skipped taking the elevator. Once inside the apartment a foul smell hit his nostrils scenting of a dangerous mixture of alcohol. His eyes took in sight of the entrance way alone and it hit him the way Otabek had been dealing with his departure. God, he felt such guilt that brought the brimming of tears to his eyes at this reality that he did this to his Beka.

“DON’T LOOK AT THAT!”  A broken voice sounded as Yuri was spun away from the view to have his eyes locked on the Kazakh who was holding him so desperately, palms cupping his face.

He missed him…

Yuri missed him…

And Otabek…that look in his eyes was truth. He missed Yuri too.

Leaning forward, Yuri kissed the male fast holding on tight to the strands of his hair. “Yuri” Otabek panted pulling away. “Wait-“ The blonde kissed him again harder, faster. The male pulled back away shaking his head. “Yuri-I..didn’t bring you here for-“ Another kiss and then Otabek’s strength to hold back waivered.

Hands scooped the blonde up off the ground carrying him to the bedroom where it remained untouched for months, dropping Yuri to the sheets with a forceful bounce. There was no ceremony, no foreplay only quick hands and fumbling fingers for the disposal of clothes and the addition of lubricant. Tongues and teeth smashed together in passion as their shirts were peeled away. Yuri’s skin burned with the touch of the male’s hands feeling so right over his pale skin. Scorching away finally all traces of his crime, cleansing and purifying him. His legs spread easily for Otabek as their bodies grew closer with clumsy limbs, needy and desperate. Bare, both of them the blonde was held close as the Kazakh lathered lube on his fingers eagerly, quickly prepping Yuri's insides. Within moments of him making the blonde a demanding mess of sprawled limbs Otabek removed his fingers lathering lube on his hardened cock to then press it at Yuri’s entrance swiftly seating himself inside with apology at the burning sting clenching around him. Loud moans graced the walls of their bedroom for the first time in ages, wet sounds of sex echoing along their sounds of grunts and gasps in time with their music of bodies.

Hands tug and tore at long blonde hair with lips and teeth bruising pale skin. Yuri could feel every inch of himself claimed as if there hadn’t been an end to their relationship at all, said for the choking sounds of pleas passing in Kazakh from Otabek’s lips. Above him in his lusting daze, Yuri could see something glistening around the male’s neck, bouncing against the tan chest with every intense thrust driving him further to climax. Fumbling fingers reached from their clawed points in the man’s back to hold the object of curiosity to see it was a ring, gold and beautiful in its decoration it brought pleasurable and emotional tears to the blonde’s eyes. Somehow, he knew it was his. It was for him.

“Fuck.” He choked out a moan as his arms embraced the other around his neck holding him closer as he felt his climax hit him in a hard-earthshattering quake of flesh and bone, his body practically electrocuted from its shocks.

He knew the other must have finished not soon after when Yuri came to, his body was held tightly in a desperate embrace to the Kazakh’s chest, tears wetting his shoulder and hair with soft whispers.

“I love you.”

Yuri’s eyes blinked wide open as he tried to open his mouth to answer, but exhaustion was creeping black in his vision.

Otabek’s whispers teased his ears in a hot puff of air, making his own tears fall when sleep took him.

 “I love you Yuri….…I’m so sorry.”

When the dawn’s light passed over his eyes, Yuri slowly rose his body bruised and loved thoroughly from Otabek’s touches. Tugging on an old sleep shirt of the Kazakh’s that was lazily tossed on the dresser he made his way slowly out to the living area where a fresh stench of alcohol hit his nose. His eyes zoomed in on the Kazakh on the couch drinking himself away with a large cup of something that definitely couldn’t be water. Anger reaped up the blonde’s spine, this shit was going to stop.

Gliding past cans and bottles alike, Yuri grabbed the male’s shirt shaking him wildly with murder in his eyes. “What the fuck are you doing?” He yelled with tears pricking at his eyes at the sight of the soulless unseeing eyes.

“You aren’t him” The voice slurred in a mixture of broken Russian to the blonde with a hand teasing the strands at Yuri’s ear with a sad smile. “You looks a-likes em’ but…you aren’t him, I’m sorry..”

Yuri shook his head at the idiocy of such a comment. “Who am I supposed to be looking like Otabek? You’re fucking drunk! JUST FUCKING LOOK AT ME!” He shook the male again with an aggressive force.

Sorrow came over the raven’s eyes with a choking sound. “My Yura…you aren’t him…I…” The male tore himself away to bury his face in his hands.

_“This was a mistake, you aren’t my Yura...Leave..”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's song was mainly the whole inspiration for this fic to get started. A mashup of It Ain't Me and Let Me Love you by Adrian Mashups


	7. Blinded

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story has had some good support, which I am very thankful.  
> It is coming to an end next chapter.  
> See more at the end notes.

“This was a mistake, you aren’t my Yura…Leave.”

It took a total of three seconds for the blonde’s gears to grind over steaming practically out of his ears. He spat out then with a snarl, “Excuse me?! Who the fuck do you think I am?-Hey! Otabek” He shook the male who then was minutes-no more like seconds away from passing out drunk off his ass onto the floor at 9:04 in the morning. Fuck, it smelled terrible in here..Yuri couldn’t help but cringe seeing the disaster their love nest had become. It was all his fault..but..

Passing a glance back to Otabek whose eyes were drowsily trying to stay open blinked slowly in a hesitating stare. “You aren’t my Yura…” He repeated himself reaching for Yuri’s cheek smiling pathetically sad up at the blonde’s angry expression with his own, eyes red from the tears streaming down his cheeks. “..as much as I wish you were…your hair..your eyes especially…” the Kazakh then smiles a small broken smile to himself. “..He deserves better, you deserve better”

“Shut Up.” Yuri growled as standing up to his feet swiftly tugging Otabek to his own who wobbled in his drunken stance teetering side to side trying to keep his balance. “Come on asshole.” The blonde snarled out under his breath fisting his fingers into the other’s shirt as trying to drag him towards the bathroom. The Kazakh protested with a grunt trying to pull himself away only for the blonde to aggressively use more force pulling harder. “No, you smell like piss and cigarettes. It’s time to stop feeling sorry for yourself” After a minor struggle shoving Otabek down the hallway he got the man in the bathroom tugging down his pants his throat running dry at the sight of Otabek’s glory only for Yuri to remind himself now wasn’t the time to jump on that dick. Not the time. Otabek wasn’t in his right state of mind at all, he couldn’t take advantage of that.

He pulled up on the cotton of the male’s shirt for Otabek to groan swatting at Yuri’s hands complaining down at the Russian who was trying to undress him. “You look like him…” Slowly, a finger pressed over the angry knit of the blonde’s eyebrows softly caressing over the worry lines trailing it down his nose in a simple motion. A habit Otabek would normally do, in his own silent way to ask Yuri to calm down—which as always just as he did just now the anger would slowly leave him like by the Kazakh’s command.

“Take it off” Yuri tried to re-enforce his scowl upon his face, command with authority to the male who still refused to take off his dirty shirt. “Otabek…please.” He never liked using the other’s full name…not anymore, it was so unfamiliar to him.  The Kazakh slowly lifted his arms, assisting to help the blonde take his shirt off where he then stepped in the tub watching silently as it was filled with water. His hands slowly swished over the numerous bubbles the blonde had mixed into the tub. “He must have forgotten about me...” Otabek whispered softly to himself poking his finger at a few of the bubbles. “He hasn’t called me back…hasn’t even came by to yell at me for refusing to give him our collection…it must really be over huh?” He asked in a daze, Otabek’s eyes closing while his head starting to slowly dip back into the water from his exhaustion, but Yuri quickly caught his head lifting it back up above the surface.

“Careful..” The blonde whispered petting over the raven’s hair pushing it back from his face slowly. It felt so easy, to just brush his fingers over those silky strands his hands remembering their exact texture.

“I’m sorry, thank you for taking care of me…I just panicked…seeing someone in my bed…its been so long. I can’t sleep without him…I can’t eat without thinking of how his face changes with each bite. I broke my promise…there’s no way he will take me back now….I promised him I would never drink myself in pain again…I promised. Fuck..” Otabek cursed with a broken voice staring up at the ceiling tears burning at the corners of his eyes. “That beautiful nightmare was my everything, the best replacing my worst. What I hate the most about it all…is I don’t know what is….the right path. I want nothing more than to return to how things were, like waking up on a Sunday morning with his hair in my face and arms all over me. Or….if I want everything to just disappear as if it never happened, like a distance memory.” Yuri was stunned silent from the deep words spoken, though in a slur, by Otabek who was staring at the tiled wall of the tub—eyes however looking at nothing at all. “I miss him. We weren’t perfect, we had fights, but…I never thought he would leave me…We’ve both been so stupid.” He cried softly rubbing harshly at his eyes with the heel of his palms. Yuri slowly dipped a sponge in the water lathering it with soap to then gently run the material over the male’s biceps, the trickling of water was briefly the only sound vibrating off the walls of the tiny room.

“I wanted to marry him…”

Yuri dropped the sponge in surprise, the small cloth dropping in the water with a splash. His eyes widened in surprise at those words, though few made time practically stop. Everything was muffled, why couldn’t he hear anything? Everything was a blur, a passing of motions as he got Otabek into bed who had long passed out once he had hit the sheets.

Hours had passed with him simply resting beside the other staring at him while he slept. His heart ached, he needed to fix this. They needed to talk. Properly. His phone vibrated in his hand alerting him he had less than thirty minutes to get to practice. He would go, but he needed Otabek to sober up before they spoke again. Slowly creeping out of the bed he grabbed their once ‘to do list’ pad of paper from the kitchen, a note scribbled for Otabek to read upon his waking paired with a glass of water and some asprin.

                _Beka,_

_Before you continue reading please drink your water and take these meds. Drink all of the water you idiot._

_Now. We need to talk things over, this running around is bullshit. I love you idiot, now get up and clean our apartment it’s disgusting, I’ll call you when I get out of practice. You better answer my call ~~asshole~~ or I’ll be storming in kicking your ass._

_Love you,_

_~~Yuri~~_

_~~Yura~~_

_Me. Yuri._

_Your Yura._

_Fuck whatever ~~just~~ I’ll call you when I get out._

_Love you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said, this story is coming to an end next chapter. Though I've had lots of love and support in messages and comments I really rather start something new and take my time with it verses how this has been kind of rushed. 
> 
> Thank you for all the love, next and final chapter coming soon.

**Author's Note:**

> This story now has a playlist that will be updated with each chapter for the songs used for inspiration as well as development in the story.  
> http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL7kKdHrYwISRVct5tBt7edxIK0nKgKCjA


End file.
